Fear can be a great motivator in your life as well as a great equalizer. But fear can limit, fear can kill dreams and fear can cut your life short from reaching your most cherished goals.
It all comes down to ownership. In our modern society we make a big deal about ownership. But what does ownership mean? In reality we are only caretakers and temporary ones at that. Our bodies, relationships, environment, homes and a host of objects we like to call “possessions” are ours on a borrowed basis. When we lay claim to any object, defining it as ours, we fall prey to ownership ego.
Once that thirst grips us, we risk becoming lost and wander aimlessly when, in truth, we have nothing to lose. By attaching ourselves to things, people, or ideas about ourselves and reality, we set the conditions for fear. Many of us are guilty of this especially with loved ones.
Ultimate fear is a fear of loss of something we believe we own. But remember, nothing is permanent. Things, attributes or relationships are all temporary and fleeting. So then, fear comes from our clinging to the way things are; really the way things were.
Ultimately, this is the fear of change. Change can potentially require you to lose what you have grown accustomed to, what you think is yours. And many people have experienced that in their work and personal lives. Jobs that we cherished or took for granted were lost in this economic downturn and many people have had difficulty righting the ship. People have lost their homes to foreclosure and most everyone has had some significant financial losses. We become paralyzed and fear keeps us from moving forward and risk taking a chance to believe again; to try again. We lose the desire to be challenged and stop doing what we used to do because we fear we will lose more. So what happens? We do nothing at all!
Losing your job or losing your home is devastating. Downsizing is painful and sometimes humiliating but those changes do not define you as a person. They are setbacks or problems you deal with so you can get back to living.
To overcome the ultimate fear you must choose. You can detach yourself from everything and everyone – a strategy countless lonely, isolated people live by. Or you can accept that nothing is permanent in this physical reality, everything is transitory. From this state of mind you come to accept that though you might suffer the anguish of a temporary loss you remain ever expectant and welcome new joyful encounters.
And old preacher once told me when I was complaining to him about my problems looking for consolation. He told me emphatically; “I should be thankful for problems. Because problems let you know you are alive. Dead people do not have problems.”
Remember, life is an adventure. It need not be filled with fear. Choose to live free from fear and embrace the new adventures life brings.
“Overcoming fear and worry can be accomplished by living a day at a time or even a moment at a time. Your worries will be cut down to nothing.”
Dr. Robert Anthony