Archive for May, 2010

All of us are capable of experiencing various emotions. We can be sad, depressed, confused, overjoyed and happy or we can be mad or angry, railing at the world. All of these emotions are natural and normal because we are humans. But we all express emotions differently and many of us are capable of expressing feelings effectively while others struggle daily.

I truly believe, unless a medical problem exists you can choose to control your emotions. Some people choose to be angry. Angry at everything and everybody. Our anger is communicated through words and actions. When our expression tends to cause more harm than good, then we have a problem with managing our anger. It is healthy to release your anger as it enables you to eventually rid yourself of it. But you must be careful how that anger is expressed outwardly. When you tend to be overwhelmed by your emotion, and express it destructively, then it is wise to seek anger management.

Anger management involves a clinical approach to addressing the problem. A psychiatrist, or whoever you choose to consult with, would first help you identify the triggers that tend to make you mad. And then analyze your reactions. Based on your responses, they will then come up with suggestions and concrete steps to improve your reaction guided by their expertise. Until you find what triggers outrage and anger, until you find what makes you mad at everyone and everything, you cannot find the peace or happiness that you seek. Remember, you may have to undergo some tests to accurately validate if you have a problem. Let the experts determine any treatment.

Some problems can be approached in a simpler fashion. You can learn to develop and maintain a more positive attitude. Encourage a healthy environment. Being angry is normal; we all have our moments, but you must channel that anger into a more constructive form of expression and communicate your feelings in a manner that is more relaxed. Talk it out. Pray about it. Release that pent-up anger through dialogue -– not argument — and then divert your attention to things that will not make you angry.

Getting angry is part of human nature. We all cry out against injustice, incessant greed, reckless drivers and more. There are so many reasons or excuses to get angry. You just have to make sure that you are able to handle your emotions whenever the situation calls for it. Anger management is controlling and dealing with those emotions that take us out of ourselves and causes harm and hurt to family, loved ones and co-workers. We must exert the effort to stay mentally fit and mature to address our situations effectively.

So, what can you do to end the anger?

1. Suppress negative thoughts. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on negative thoughts and play the scenario over and over in your head. It will drive you mad.

2. Be positive. Count your blessings and be positive. Dwell on the thoughts that will make you feel happy.

3. Learn to mediate. Mediation can be very productive for reducing or stopping your anger. Pause and breathe to calm yourself.

4. Get busy. Do not dwell on anger. Get busy with your body and mind on another task that will absorb that energy. Exercises, do aerobics or some type of mental challenge.

5. Walk away. You continue the anger when you maintain contact with that person or situation. Take a walk and cool off.

Anger is OK. Rage is not.

• Recognize your anger

• Identify the cause

• Resist jumping to conclusions

• Realize underlying causes

• Control the energy of your anger

“When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.”

Thomas Jefferson

You may have heard sometime in your life that you were not planned. That you were “an accident”. We have heard that from parents and relatives and sadly, that stays with a person through their life. A statement like that — if it is believed – can cause people to live their lives accordingly.  They go to work, come home, experience mediocre events, and hang around waiting for something extraordinary to happen, but it can’t or won’t, because they are just accidents. Right? Wrong!  Nothing extraordinary happens out of the blue or just by accident. Everything happens for a reason, including you.

The truth is, no one is an accident and every person on the globe has a purpose. Now that may be hard to believe, but it is true! Life is a journey that you take to find and “fulfill” your purpose. Regardless of where you were born, who your parents are, how you were raised, whether you were poor or rich, your gender or color. None of that really matters. Everyone has a purpose.

Unfortunately, most people don’t realize this and they spend the majority of their time living an un-purposeful and un-eventful life. We work jobs we hate; put up with people we can’t tolerate, and settle for paychecks that can’t cover our bills. Why? Sometimes we just don’t understand our purpose. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that you won’t ever find yourself in a position where you hate your job, are sick of people, and accept peanuts (paycheck) thankfully for your compensation. I am not judging anyone for doing that. I have found myself in those predicaments on several occasions. Yet, when a person stays in those type of situations with no plan to do better, be better, or live better — that is a clear sign they don’t understand their purpose.

There is a famous proverb that says “a person’s gift will make room for her”. That means that when a person finds their gifts or what they are good at in life and pursues it wholeheartedly, it (gift) will make room or open doors for that person. In other words, there is something on the inside of every one of us that is medicine for others. We all have gifts. They will be different from someone else’s but nevertheless they are gifts. Gifts are doorways to a person’s purpose. Making people laugh is a gift. Not everyone can do it. Keeping others cool and calm in chaotic times is a gift.

Many will be challenged and use their gifts as stepping stones to their purpose. Others waste or do nothing with their talents. Still others will not realize their purpose until they start to explore those simple gifts more. The moment a person starts to take risks and begins to explore and display those gifts is the moment they become unsatisfied with the normal life. When people become passionate about using their gifts to help others, they will realize that there just might be more to life and perhaps they are integral to making life better for themselves and others.

Sadly, few people have realized their purpose in life. Some are still searching, hoping. Longing to find where they fit or what they can do to make a difference. Those that are on track or have discovered their gift have started on a venture that has changed their communities and in some cases, changed the world. When one truly understands and knows their purpose, nothing deters them from fulfilling it. Staying on the simple path of purpose brings perfect peace, fulfillment and everything they have need of. So, find your purpose and share it with the world and forever write your name in the history books of life. Remember, you are not an accident. You are here for a reason and you CAN make a difference.